Friday, April 9, 2010

Clash of the Titans (2010)

While I was watching the new one, I was thinking about the original 1981 version (and basically anything else I could think of that wasn't on the screen) and realized that I only had only one vague recollection of it. And that is of Harry Hamlin galumphing out Medusa's temple and holding up her head to no one in particular, like he needs someones approval. So I watched it again. And yeah, all the primitive stop-motion stuff is kinda charming but not so bad it's ridiculous in any way (almost). It's something as a kid that I'm sure you can get really attached to, but for me it just wasn't that big a deal. But I can say that I enjoyed it a million times more than the new one.

Clash of the Titans, 2010
Dir: Louis Leterrier

Why is Sam Worthigton given a fucking monologue in this? Is there a more wooden actor ever? How can you not know that making him the protagonist in your film is going to absolutely wreck any kind of dialogue you want to introduce, given the fact that he demands all of the viewers attention whenever he is on screen (yo dudes, trailer for Russel Crowe's "Robin Hood" was before this, looks epic). Is the acting in this actually worse than in the original? Is it possible to make the action in this any more boring, considering the resources they have? What's up with the low horn sounds in these movies whenever something "huge" or "epic" is about to happen? Why is Ralph Fiennes using the same voice that he uses for Voldemort? Why is Pegasus black? Why are the secondary gods given no screen time in this? Are they certain that they wouldn't possibly be any more interesting than giant fucking scorpions? Wait, are those guys djinn? So, they're genies? In fucking Greece?!?! Who the shit wrote this? And why isn't there more of this in it, considering that you have Gemma Arterton in your movie? I mean, am I wrong?


"We'll tell you your secrets. But please, just stop talking!"

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