Monday, February 1, 2010

Hawks 1949-1952

So I did it. I plowed through these movies like no ones business. Was it worth it? Not really...

I Was a Male War Bride, 1949
Dir: Howard Hawks

I was never even remotely interested. Cary Grant dresses like a woman at the end? Holy Fukin Shizit.


The Thing From Another World, 1951
Dir: Christian Nyby (Howard Hawks)

Hawks fans claim that there is evidence enough to prove that he actually directed this, though I'm not sure why anyone would want to take credit for this turd. Maybe Cristian Nyby is like Hawks' retarded friend who he let direct as favor or something. You can only possibly like this if you are into those campy, alien invasion 50s movies, but even that I cannot fathom. So there's like this alien that lands in the arctic, and army guys go up there, and like, he's a fucking vegetable and that makes him immortal or something. Plus he looks like Frankenstein's monster, to add to all the what the fuck insaneness. The whole thing is like if children acted out some dumb alien play and did random things and said lazy nonsensical zingers, which can only loosely be correlated back to Hawks in the visual presentation. Shit city. "So bad it's funny"? I fucking wish, man.


Monkey Business, 1952
Dir: Howard Hawks

OK. So this really isn't that funny. Cary Grant is a scientist again, but instead of being a fuddy-duddy dork like in Bringing Up Baby (1938), he's just the aloof brainiac, which can be semi-interesting. The plot revolves around Grant's scientist team trying to make youthful energy potions. They test them on monkeys. One of the monkeys escapes and does whaaaat: inadvertently makes the elixir of life and drops it in the water bubbler. So craaaaaaaazy shit start to happen. So screwy it fuckin' hurts. But I really want to talk about Marilyn Monroe. So I'm not sure if I've ever really seen a movie with her in it, but after watching this, all I can says is this: I fucking get it. I know why millions of men fell in love with her. When she pops her head over a sign and sees Cary Grant buying a fancy car (so youthful) and she cracks a huge smile and says "Hiya!", you will get a twinge in your balls. NO joke. Her "day date" with Grant is like the one really interesting thing in the movie, and when she pouts at the end of it she is super hot.

3/5, just for MM

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